In Your Web: Loneliness of Working at Home

Loneliness of Working at Home

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

After I quit my "regular job" and switched to working full time for myself at this Internet publishing, marketing, and blogging thing, one thing became apparent to me. It gets lonely.

When I worked in an office building full of people, there was always folks talking to each other, and we'd go out for lunch, or find ourselves chatting about a topic, even if it was work related or not.

And then there were the after-work get-togethers at the bar, or weekends visiting your work buddies.

But after a year of working here at home, for myself, that seemed to have gone by the wayside. I can still call up my old work buddies, but for whatever reason, when you don't see them everyday, those calls become fewer and father between.

I have neighbors, but they don't work at home for themselves. They have regular jobs. And when they get home, they're too tired to do much other than eat dinner and figure out what trouble their kids got into today.

My wife doesn't help out much on the publishing part of the business. She's one of those "technologically challenged" types who managed to learn just enough to send e-mail and buy stuff from Amazon.com <- shameless affiliate link

For the most part, my day works out like this:

Get up and walk over to my office to check the stats on BeFree, CJ, and AdSense
Send the dogs into the backyard
Shower, brush my teeth, and find something small to eat
Answer e-mails
Spend the next few hours looking for stuff to blog about
Read various articles on the latest in affiliate programs, SEO, Blogs, and whatever
Wife and I go out for lunch, do some various shopping
Come back home, play with the dogs
Go back to work
Wife and I go out for dinner, figure out what else to do
Come back home, greet the dogs
Go back to work
Let the dogs back in
Go back to work
By midnight, hit the sack

I joined the local Chamber of Commerce last year. It's a good place to get to know other business-minded folks. Despite popular belief, the Chamber is not full of filthy rich bankers and developers. Most of them are actually self-employed-work-at-home types like me, looking for ideas on how to make more money. But while at the meetings and mixers, everyone is "happy happy", "how are you doing?", and "Oh you look so marvelous!", after the meeting everyone goes their own way, and you never hear from them.

My wife and I also joined a local biker group. We go out on weekends riding our motorcycles and choppers around Southern California. It's a lot of fun. But after the ride, everyone goes their separate ways, and you don't hear from them outside of group rides.

In my zest to see people, talk to people, and e-mail people, sometimes I get the sense that they're tired of seeing me, hearing me, and having to read my e-mails. So I try to hold back the reigns. Loneliness can be a bitch.

Labels: Loneliness, Self Employment

3 Comments:

It's funny how we're all different when it comes to loneliness. I've worked from home for the past 2 years, I'm not married, but I see my close friends and family regularly, which means I LOVE the time I spend alone ... I'm an editor and writer (mainly books, not blogs), so working alone is the perfect setting for me. My loneliness comes in waves -- I can have a great few months and then think: 'Jeez, it's time to mingle!!'. Good luck to you and your wife -- I'm sure you're both very successful at what you do and it sounds like you have the ability to meet new people, which is great. Maybe you should ask all the Chamber of Commerce and biker group people around for a party! Ha! Take care... (Self-employed girl from Australia)

By Anonymous, at 7:19 PM
I really related to your article. I also run an Internet business and have found myself becoming very lonely the past year. People think working from home is great, but I really miss the day to day interaction with people. My husband works outside the home and really does not understand how lonely it gets. I regret not getting into some sort of group to meet people when I decided to work from home. Well, it's never too late. Thanks for the great article!

By Anonymous, at 12:34 PM
I can totally relate to your situation. I am a writer publishing my own books from home. I also live in a rural resort setting and after the Sept. long weekend, almost everyone disappears. My husband commutes over an hour each day to the city and I work at home completely alone. While I love the writing, the social interaction doesn't even exist since all my friends also live in the city or elsewhere. But, I've decided to make lemonade out of the lemons I've been handed: I'm researching and writing a book about loneliness. When it is finished, I will post another comment perhaps with some workable ideas. All the best to you!!

By Anonymous, at 5:56 PM

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Loneliness of Working at Home

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